Embrace Failure

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Research has shown that children who are told that they are smart are less likely to try new things than children who are told that they have worked hard to achieve success. The smart children fear failure as the feel the praise they receive is related to their intelligence. If they fail it will show that they really are not smart and do not deserve praise. The children who were told that they worked hard were more open to trying new things. They also applied themselves more to the difficult tasks that were above their current level. They did not give up as quickly as the smart children. This may be the reason that there appears to be no correlation between success and IQ.

This is one area where I need to do a lot of work. I was one of the “smart” kids. I have an over sensitivity to failure. I have trouble moving outside my comfort zone. I don’t have a lot of personal experience with failure as I rarely attempt something where there is a possibility I will fail. On the other hand, I could make a long list of things I have not done, because I feared failure.

My one big experience with failure was when I failed my final professional exams the first time. A week before the exam I had written a practice exam and had received a scathing review by the marker. They said that I knew nothing about my chosen profession and would not pass the exam. I lost all confidence and I went into the exam thinking I would fail. I was 10 marks short of a passing grade. That experience completely impacted everything else I did that year. I began questioning my abilities and I lost touch with my friends who had passed the exam. I was ashamed. The next year I was subjected to an economic layoff, but attributed it to my failure.

That summer I went to McGill University for their special exam prep course. This course was a turning point. The markers comments were always positive and criticisms were constructive. There were one-on-one reviews with tutors. I remember that during one of the last reviews, I debated the marking key with the tutor as I had not received a very good mark. The tutor’s comment at the end – you will have no problems passing the exam you have worked hard to understand the concepts. That year I passed with ease and almost made the honor roll.

What I learned from this is that I need to examine my failures and determine what I need to change in order to succeed. In the first case, I took the criticism personally and let it impact my future actions. In the second case, I used the criticism to improve myself and went on to be successful. I also learned how to be constructive and not personalize when giving criticism.

I am still not a risk taker, but I am going to look for opportunities to try new things and take more risks, even if there is a chance I may not be successful. I will follow Franklin D. Roosevelt’s words and keep trying. I now see failure is a stepping stone to success.

Keep trying to achieve your
Bright Star Dreams

P.S. Here is a YouTube video that I found on another blog that seems to fit with this post: