Take Action

"To live for results would be to sentence myself to continuous frustration. My only sure reward is in my actions and not from them."

- Hugh Prather

"Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."

- Helen Keller

"If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator."

- W. Beran Wolfe

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."

- Benjamin Disraeli

When I was looking for quotes for this post I found a dozen that fit, I had a hard time choosing. These are my four favorites.

Happiness research has shown that action is one of the main indicators of happiness, as well as one of the major ways to move from being unhappy to being happy. Research has found that happy people are busy people, but not just bustling busy. The activity needs to be quality activities. Happy people are involved in their life. They invest their energy in living.

The research has identified 5 types of activities that are likely to increase happiness:

1. Enjoyable activities - Doing things that you enjoy will make you happy - who knew?
2. Exciting activities - activities that are thrill based like sports, rock concerts and amusement parks
3. Novel Activities - doing new things will make you happier. Happy people are more likely to try new things.
4. Social activities - Happy people have an active social calendar
5. Meaningful activities - Happy people involve themselves in meaningful activity.

I have spent the last three weeks working to put in a system. With the long hours, I have not had time for any of the above. I pre-wrote all of the previous happiness posts over Christmas and scheduled the posts. Ironically the post "Embrace Failure" was posted on the weekend we did the implementation. After working 11 days straight, I was exhausted. I had no energy for action, but after reading the research, I realize I have to take action or risk being unhappy. Tomorrow I am back to work and will be back to my noon hour yoga. Three of the members of my new project team also do yoga, so hopefully we will keep each other motivated. I also get to organize a celebration for the successful system implementation and completion of my last project - something that should increase my happiness.

Be active to be happy and seek your

Bright Star Dreams

P.S. here is another link to some happiness research that I have found: http://www.gethappy.net/v204.htm

The Power of Effective Communication

“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”

- Bill Cosby

How you communicate with your significant other can have an impact on both of your happiness. I know that I don't like it when Homer keeps badgering me about something and I am sure the feeling is mutual. While studies have shown that nagging does eventually work, in the long run this pestering will eat away at the heart of your relationship. Learning to communicate effectively with your spouse will go a long way to fostering a happy relationship.

I am definitely not an expert in this arena, so I did some searching on alternative ways to get what you want, without having to nag. Here are some of the suggestions that I found:

1. Use non-verbal communication. Leaving the empty container on the counter rather than saying "Remember to pick up more shampoo"
2. Use positive language and compliments rather than complaining. Ask for what you want rather than complaining about what you don't want. Say "I really enjoy it when we go for a walk. I would like to go for a walk later" instead of saying "We never go walking any more"
3. Try to use moderate language rather than extremes. Use the word "often" or "sometimes" instead of "always" and use "rarely" instead of "never"
4. Ask rather than demand. Ask "Will you have time to shovel the walks today?" rather than "Go out and shovel the walks before the neighbors get home"
5. If the task gets done, but not to your standard, do not complain. If you want it done to your standards then you should do it yourself.
6. Consider how to share the household tasks. In our house Homer is the cook and for the most part I do the laundry. Homer is a much better cook and I like my clothes folded and put away in a certain way. This split of the chores works best for us.

I am sure there are many more communication strategies that can be used as an alternative to the hounding your significant other. I know I am going to work harder at this to try to keep the peace in our house.

Communicate to reach your

Bright Star Dreams

Celebrate

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

- Oprah Winfrey

In my research on happiness, one of the happiness strategies that I discovered was to celebrate and celebrate as often as possible. Just like with gratitude, research has shown that at the end of the day if we can find 3 things that happened that day to celebrate, we will be happier. In order to celebrate we have to focus on the positive and find some way we were successful that day, even if we have had a bad day. The theory is that if you go to bed a success, you will wake up the next day a success. It sets the tone for the day.

While I am not a fan of Hallmark holidays, maybe there is something to them. Frequent celebration will promote happiness. Depending on which survey you look at Mexico, Puerto Rico, Columbia and Nigeria rank high in the happiness rankings for the nations of the world. These nations are not known for being prosperous, secure, peaceful, highly educated or even healthy. According to one article I read, one of the common elements the happiest nations in the world have is frequent, enthusiastic community celebration.

Based on my post Embrace Failure, I think we should not only celebrate success, but we should also celebrate failure. By celebrating failure, we are celebrating the fact that we pushed the envelope and tried something outside our comfort level or expertise. Thomas Edison lived by this philosophy. He considered every one of his failures a successful discovery of a way that would not work. He also believed that just because something did not work how he expected, it did not mean that it or the attempt was useless. He celebrated each one of his failures as a success.

Celebrate your
Bright Star Dreams

If you are interested in world happiness rankings, I found two surveys that ranked happiness by nation.

• The World Database of Happiness: http://worlddatabaseofhappiness.eur.nl/


• World Values Survey Happiness Trends: http://www.worldvaluessurvey.org/happinesstrends/

Dream

"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

- Henry David Thoreau

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Dreaming is the first step in goal setting. The dream gives life to the desire to achieve. It is the motivation that keeps you going when you are struggling to realize your goal. The dream is the powerful visualization that allows you to see the possibilities of what could be. It is the "why" that motivates you to act. It is the dream that has the power to change the world.

Allow yourself to dream. From the dream, the answers to "what?" and "how?" will follow. I believe that the road to happiness is paved with dreams.

Part of my exercise to put together My Treasure Map to Riches was to make my dreams more visual and to ensure that I kept my dreams in my thoughts. I have taken a picture of my Map and will be carrying it with me. As well, I have put the map in a prominent place in my den so I see it every day. One of the premises of the book The Secret, is the law of attraction. I am experimenting with this law, by creating the Map. If I think about the things I want, I will bring them to me. I'll let you know how it goes.

One of the other steps in creating the Treasure Map is to quantify how much money you will need to achieve the things in your dream. I am still working on the number. I am trying to determine what the least amount of money I would need. I am hoping that I will come up with a way to do this in my current financial position. Being an analytical person - I think I'll need a spreadsheet. Just kidding - LOL!

Keep dreaming your
Bright Star Dreams

Give More Than You Take

“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”

- HH the Dalai Lama

Research conducted by Havard Business School assistant professor Michael Norton together with colleagues Elizabeth Dunn and Lara Aknin at the University of British Columbia has shown that money really can buy happiness, but only if you spend it on others. The study conducted by several surveys and tests to test the theory. In one test participants were given envelopes containing $5, $10 or $20 bills and were asked to either spend it on themselves or to give it to charity. The study found that those that gave the money to charity had a higher level of happiness at the end of the day than those who spent the money on themselves. The amount of money in the envelope had no impact on the result. The researchers found that it was the relative percentage of the money that people spend on others—rather than the absolute amount—that predicted their happiness.

Last December, every morning on my route from my car to work I would see an older panhandler. I started to bring an extra orange in my lunch that I would give to him. This simple act did not cost much, and yet I felt very happy that I was helping this man who could not afford to purchase a box of oranges.

Small acts of charity will bring you happiness.

Be charitable with your
Bright Star Dreams

Oh Happy Day!

“To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.”

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake.”

- Barack Obama, Inaugural Address, January 20, 2009

I hope that history looks back on this day as a turning point in the US and the world. A world where ideals take precedence over money or power. I agree with another blogger's comment that if the new president only makes good on two things, these are the two I hope he sees through to fruition.

Yes - We Can!

Dream Your
Bright Star Dreams

Resist Temptation (Part 2)

"If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy"

- Proverb

On the first weekend of January, one of our friend's daughter stopped in for dinner with us. She is a university student and is struggling to make ends meet - working and going to school. She had been working full time until going to school in the fall. When working full time, she had money for some luxuries like a trip to Europe in the summer and had increased the limit on her credit card for the trip. Now that she is back at school, she is finding it hard to payoff her credit card each month. I had just written the Resist Temptation post and thought about some strategies she could use to help her curb her spending. I decided I would share these strategies as a second part to the Resist Temptation post. While I believe money cannot buy happiness, worrying about money can certainly cause a lot of stress and have a negative impact on your level of happiness.

I suggested two strategies for her to resist spending:

1. Consider the actual cost of the item in terms of the interest you will pay if you only make the minimum payment on your credit card.


2. Determine your real hourly wage

The Cost of Credit

The first strategy was to consider whether she had the cash to pay for the item and if not consider how much the item really costs if she puts it on her credit card and only makes the minimum payment. If the item is $100, her credit card interest is 19.5% per year, and her credit card requires a minimum payment of $3 or 3 % it will take her 4 years and the actual cost will be $145. At 29% interest that $100 item actually costs $205 and take 5 years and 9 months to pay off. This scenario becomes much worse, if you already have a balance on your credit card, as the minimum payment will decrease as you pay off the balance. A $3,000 balance at 19.5% paying the minimum amount (3% declining payment) will take 24.5 years to pay off and cost $6,472.

Slavery might be illegal, but I believe the credit card companies have found a way around the laws. In Canada, the laws state that any interest rate above 60% is considered usury (unconscionable and excessive rate of interest) and is illegal. I can't imagine ever paying 60% interest on anything, but banks have a way of hiding these charges. Cash advance fees are considered to be interest and fall within this law. If your bank is charging a minimum amount for cash advances, check to ensure that this amount would not be in excess of the 60% per annum allowed.

Your Real Hourly Wage

The second strategy I suggested to our friend's daughter was to determine her real hourly wage. When she finds something that she wants to buy on impulse, consider how many hours she has to work to pay for the item.

To calculate real hourly wage you need two numbers: Real monthly earnings (RME) and real hours spent working (RHSW). Real hourly wage = RME / RHSW

To calculate your real monthly earnings (RME): Take the amount that you make per year or per month subtract off the expenses you have to incur in order to work such as clothing, transportation, purchased lunches, child care and that morning Starbuck's coffee.

To calculate the real hours you spend working (RHSW): Add the total hours you spend working, travelling to work, getting ready for work, and time you spend taking training to work at your job. These are hours that would be spent in other ways, if you did not have to work.

By dividing the RME by the RHSW you come up with your actual hourly wage. When you think about buying an item divide the price by the real hourly wage. This is how many hours you have to give up working in order to purchase the item.
For those of us that work in order to live, I also propose you consider your real hourly disposable income. Take your real monthly earnings and subtract off the items that you have to pay every month in order to live. This would include any fixed expenses that you have each month including your mortgage or rent, utilities, grocery bill, insurance, car payments, and taxes. Take this amount and divide by the real hours you spend working. This is the amount you are earning each hour that is available to spend on discretionary items like entertainment. If your fixed costs are high, this number may not be all that large. This can be frightening, but it has kept me from buying that fancy home theatre that I keep thinking about.

Thinking about either of these numbers when you go to buy something will help you to consider how important this item is to you and how many hours you had to work to pay for it. If after looking at the result you still want to buy the item, then you know that it is worth it.

I know that I feel happier knowing that I am saving for the things that are important to me and not indulging in the things that would bring a short term high, but in the long term would prevent me from reaching my dreams.

Consider your spending to save for your
Bright Star Dreams

Resist Temptation

"I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me."

- George Bernard Shaw

I could not find a lot of research that linked resisting temptation and happiness, but I beileve it is true. If there was no pay-off in indulging in the temptation then it likely would not be tempting. I believe the issue is short term pay-off vs. long term pay-off. When I am feeling down, I often treat myself to something I know I shouldn’t, but I just crave. For me this is usually some kind of sweet - gluten free brownies comes to mind. For other people it could be binge shopping. The short term high that I get from the sweet is always followed by longer term low, both from the low blood sugar that follows and from the guilt in having indulged in something that I knew was not good for me. For me this is accentuated more by my food sensitivities. My reaction is almost immediate and I can feel ill for a day or more afterwards.

The research I did find was on how to resist temptation. The best advice I found was do not think about the vice. The more you think about something the more likely you are to do it. For that reason, I believe the strategies of delay and distraction that can be used for managing anger will also work in resisting temptation.

For those that are impulse spenders, Leo at ZenHabits suggests that you create a Want Book or a 30 day log for those items that are not necessities that you want. Put the item on your list and note the date. Do not allow yourself to buy the item until after it has been on the list for 30 days. After 30 days, the desire to purchase the item may have passed.

I now try to pause before I indulge myself to ask if this will really make me feel better.

Avoid short term temptations
to reach your long term

Bright Star Dreams

Embrace Failure

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Research has shown that children who are told that they are smart are less likely to try new things than children who are told that they have worked hard to achieve success. The smart children fear failure as the feel the praise they receive is related to their intelligence. If they fail it will show that they really are not smart and do not deserve praise. The children who were told that they worked hard were more open to trying new things. They also applied themselves more to the difficult tasks that were above their current level. They did not give up as quickly as the smart children. This may be the reason that there appears to be no correlation between success and IQ.

This is one area where I need to do a lot of work. I was one of the “smart” kids. I have an over sensitivity to failure. I have trouble moving outside my comfort zone. I don’t have a lot of personal experience with failure as I rarely attempt something where there is a possibility I will fail. On the other hand, I could make a long list of things I have not done, because I feared failure.

My one big experience with failure was when I failed my final professional exams the first time. A week before the exam I had written a practice exam and had received a scathing review by the marker. They said that I knew nothing about my chosen profession and would not pass the exam. I lost all confidence and I went into the exam thinking I would fail. I was 10 marks short of a passing grade. That experience completely impacted everything else I did that year. I began questioning my abilities and I lost touch with my friends who had passed the exam. I was ashamed. The next year I was subjected to an economic layoff, but attributed it to my failure.

That summer I went to McGill University for their special exam prep course. This course was a turning point. The markers comments were always positive and criticisms were constructive. There were one-on-one reviews with tutors. I remember that during one of the last reviews, I debated the marking key with the tutor as I had not received a very good mark. The tutor’s comment at the end – you will have no problems passing the exam you have worked hard to understand the concepts. That year I passed with ease and almost made the honor roll.

What I learned from this is that I need to examine my failures and determine what I need to change in order to succeed. In the first case, I took the criticism personally and let it impact my future actions. In the second case, I used the criticism to improve myself and went on to be successful. I also learned how to be constructive and not personalize when giving criticism.

I am still not a risk taker, but I am going to look for opportunities to try new things and take more risks, even if there is a chance I may not be successful. I will follow Franklin D. Roosevelt’s words and keep trying. I now see failure is a stepping stone to success.

Keep trying to achieve your
Bright Star Dreams

P.S. Here is a YouTube video that I found on another blog that seems to fit with this post:

Show Gratitude

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”

- Denis Waitley

Prof. Robert Emmons is Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and has studied the impact of gratitude on mood for over 10 years. His research has 3 key findings:

1. The practice of gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%.
2. A few hours writing a gratitude journal over 3 weeks can create an effect that lasts 6 months if not more.
3. Cultivating gratitude brings other health effects, such as longer and better quality sleep time.

Another study showed that writing a gratitude letter to someone who had a positive impact on your life and then finding that person and reading it to them, caused a 30% increase in your happiness. The increase lasted up to 3 days, with effects lasting up to 3 months. All this happened from one letter!

OK, I’m sold. I can write a letter. I can be more consciously grateful.

I am grateful for Prof. Robert Emmons’ research.
I am grateful for my winter break that gave me time to self-reflect.

Gratefully yours,
Bright Star Dreams

Fake it, Until you Make It

The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.

- H.H. the Dalai Lama

I have said this before, in an earlier post. Even the simple act of smiling will make you feel happy. Research has shown the act of smiling can have similar impact on the body as the actual emotion of happiness. Smiling to yourself in a mirror has an even greater impact. If you act like you are happy, eventually you will be happy.

Research on happiness has shown that 50% of happiness is determined by genetics. For those of us that do not have a genetic predisposition (about 1/3 of the population), I believe that the genetic predisposition can be overcome. I may have been born an Eeyore, but I aspire to be a Tigger.

The brain is very adaptable. You really can train an old dog to learn new tricks. New research in neuroplasticity has shown that just thinking in a certain way can change the structure and function of our brains. There are stories of stroke victims who, after suffering massive stokes, are able to return to an active life. Having lost motor skill due to injury of the brain, the stroke patients have retrained another portion of their brain to perform the lost skills. Blind people have enhanced hearing ability as they have trained the unused visual functions of the brain to be used for auditory functions. Retraining the brain is a full time job. It is something that you have to do consciously for 8 hours a day, 5 days per week for at least 2 -3 months before results can be seen. This is contrary to most rehabilitation programs, which are normally only 2 hours, 2 - 3 times per week.

If you can retrain your brain for motor skills, I do not think it is a large leap to be able to retrain your brain to be happy just by thinking in a certain way.

I have tried to apply this to my daily life and I have tried to pay it forward. On days where I am not feeling positive and happy, I smile at strangers that I meet while walking. I say thank you to the cashier and wish them a great day. I tip a little more to the waitress. I hug Homer and tell him that I love him more. All these things make me feel better and hopefully it makes others feel better too.

After doing the research, I see I am going to have to be even more cognizant of my mood, my thoughts and my actions in order for this retraining to stick.


Retraining your brain to be happy will bring you closer to your
Bright Star Dreams

Be Satisfied

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more.

- Brother David Steindl-Rast

I am a perfectionist. I always want to make things better. In high school when I received 99% on an exam, I was more concerned about the 1% I did wrong than the 99% that I did right. I spent days wondering. Even now, I still remember that I only received 99% and someone else in my class got 100%. Since then, however, I have learned to be more pragmatic and that sometimes good enough is good enough.

Working in IT, I have found that there are always ways to improve how things work. Who doesn't have a thing or two that they want to tell Bill Gates? However, the question is not whether something is perfect, but is it good enough? The 80 / 20 rule is a constant in my line of work. Part of my job is differentiating needs from wants. If an 80% solution satisfies the needed requirements then it is good enough. Eighty percent of the work is in developing that last 20% of the functionality that would make it perfect. There has to be a large amount of business value in that last 20% in order to justify the time and cost to develop an automated solution over the cost of implementing a manual process that will satisfy the requirement. I have learned to be satisfied with 80% and not dwell on the 20% that would have made things perfect.

Studies have shown that people who are pragmatic are happier than those who are perfectionists. Pragmatic people are generally satisfied in finding and choosing things that meet their requirements; whereas, a perfectionist will search and search and expend much energy to find the item that is the best, even if some other item would have met their criteria. Perfectionists have difficulty making a decision, and when they do, they may dwell on it in case it was not the best decision.

I choose to be satisfied.

Satisfy your
Bright Star Dreams

Go to bed angry

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”

- Thumper, from the movie Bambi (1942)

This saying is not just to help the other party. It actually helps you to let go of your anger, too. Research has shown that expressing anger or irritation does not actually reduce tension and aggression. In fact it often has the opposite effect. I have found this in my own life, with both major and minor things that make me angry. If I do go to bed angry, often the problem seems much less infuriating in the morning or I discover a way to resolve the issue. Either way, the end result is better than had I worked myself up, did a bit of yelling and then not slept well as I stewed over the problem or worse my own actions.

I have found that in the heat of an argument, I have a propensity to say the most malicious things. Things I almost always regret. Things that I can't take back. Things that an apology may not heal as the wound that I opened touches an underlying personal schema. This is more often true when I am arguing with a loved one. Someone whose intimate secrets and vulnerabilities I have been privileged to share. I remind myself of Meg Ryan's character in "You've Got Mail"

Venting to a support group doesn't work for me either, at least not in the heat of the moment. I have found that when I express my frustration at the time I am experiencing it, to people I know, they tend to rally around me and I become even more wound up. However, I have also found that after I have calmed down and I reach out for support in a factual manner, I am able to get the support I need. As well, I more easily identify why I was angry and determine whether there is some underlying issue that I need to address. The research supports this approach as well. Dealing with anger in a calm deliberate way is therapeutic. Anger is considered a secondary emotion. It is important to take the time to dissect your anger to identify the underlying emotion behind it and address the root cause.

The adoption journey has not been an easy one. There have been a lot of frustrations for me in this process. It is over 2 1/2 years since we started the paper work and we are still waiting for an unknown child or children. We have had delays that were outside our control and have had to spend a lot of time explaining the process to many people along the way in order to get the paperwork we needed completed on a timely basis. We had some paperwork become stale dated as a result. Likely, we will be waiting for several more months before we know who our child or children are. With recent changes in the process, it could be more than a year before we will be home with our expanded family. Just writing this winds me up and I have tried to keep it as factual and unemotional as I could. I have identified the underlying emotion behind my anger and have taken steps to address it.

Here are the strategies for letting go of anger that I have found in my research:

1. Delay
2. Distraction
3. Relaxation
4. Incompatible responses

Some tactics that fit with these strategies that I am going to try in order to allow me to let go of my anger in the future include:

1. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Visualize the anger leaving you through your breath. Research has identified that one of the causes of anger is a lack of oxygen to your heart. Deep breathing can ease the tension and lessen your chance of a heart attack
2. Do a crossword puzzle or some other challenging mind exercise to occupy your thoughts
3. Be silly - I run back and forth chasing my dogs, trying to get them to do what I fondly call the berserkers - bouncing off the furniture and baying like they are chasing bunnies. Being silly is one of Homer's fortes. He has a natural propensity towards the absurd and silly.
4. Listen to relaxing music - this works for me and is one of my favorite ways to distract my attention.
5. Take a bubble bath - choose a soothing or relaxing scent such as lavender, sandalwood or vanilla and light some candles
6. Have a cup of chamomile tea
7. Gentle Exercise - my exercise of choice is yoga. I find the breath and meditation of yoga very therapeutic, but just going for a walk is also an option.

I hope that letting go of anger will lead me to my

Bright Star Dreams

Get Enough Sleep

"Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds."

- JoJo Jensen, Dirt Farmer Wisdom, 2002

Sleep deprivation can severely impact mood. This is one area where I have a lot of experience. After my car accident, I experienced a sleep disorder and I have tried a lot of strategies for improving my sleep.

Sleep deprivation is associated with the onset of depression. As well, sleep deprivation is one of the main factors associated with rapid mood swings. In a research study, students who went without sleep for 35 hours were compared to a control group of students who had a normal amount of sleep. The students were shown disturbing and negative images while their brain activity was monitored using an MRI. The sleep deprived students had a hyperactive brain response to the images, similar to people who have a psychiatric disorder. The control group showed a modest controlled response to the images.

Sleep rejuvenates the mind and body and can improve your mood, but how much is enough sleep? Studies have shown that adults need 8 hours of sleep a night. Older adults need as much sleep as younger ones. Children and adolescents need up to 13 hours of sleep.

Some suggestions for improving sleep include:

• Go to bed and wake up at the same time
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine 3 - 4 hours before bedtime
• Use your bedroom only for sleeping - get the TV out of the bedroom
• Make your bedroom dark, cool and quiet
• Don't eat a heavy meal just before going to bed
• Don't lie in bed awake, get up and do something until you feel sleepy. Staying awake in bed sets a pattern of sleeplessness.

If you are having more serious sleep problems, you should consider talking to a medical professional. You may want to keep a sleep diary that you can review at your appointment. This may help to make the connection between your daily activities and the quality of your sleep.

One online resource for sleep is the National Sleep Foundation http://www.sleepfoundation.org/

Stay well rested and dream about your

Bright Star Dreams

You Are What You Eat

"The doctor of the future will no longer treat the human frame with drugs, but rather will Cure and prevent disease with nutrition."

- Thomas Edison

It is proven that food can effect mood for up to two or three hours after eating. Eat the right foods and your mood improves. Eat the wrong foods and you can appear to have a psychiatric disorder.

Numerous studies have found that Omega-3 is important in reducing depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, ADD/ADHD, as well as, dementia. A common factor in up to 31% of people with major depression is a deficiency of folate. Simply reducing or cutting out substances such as salt and sugar, from the diet can eliminate irritability experienced by some people. Carbohydrate consumption has been shown to increase seretonin levels in the brain.

I have celiac disease (gluten intolerance) and with it comes lactose intolerance. I have not been officially diagnosed with either one, but I am pretty sure on this and since I have now cut out gluten from my diet, they cannot make an official diagnosis. Whenever I eat something that my body cannot tolerate, one of the first things impacted is my mood. I notice the impact within 15 minutes of consuming something I should not have.

It has long been documented that chocolate has a positive impact on mood. Much research has been done to determine why. Chocolate contains more than 500 natural chemical compounds, some of which have been categorized as mood-elevating and pleasure-inducing. More information on the health benefits of chocolate can be found at http://www.allchocolate.com/health/basics/ I try to ensure that I have a little bit of dark chocolate every day. The sacrifices I have to make in order to stay happy.

Lucky for me, because of my afflictions, I am generally careful about what I eat and don't suffer the negative mood altering impacts of food very often. For more information on food and mood and some strategies to try checkout: http://www.foodandmood.org/

Eat right and be happy
Bright Star Dreams

My Happiness Project

"There is no duty we so underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

- Robert Louis Stevenson

"What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness."

- Baruch Spinoza

This was going to be my New Year's day post - but I got sidetracked with my book review. I enjoyed the book so much, I was bursting to share what I had learned. After finishing the post I realized it could have been split out over 3 or 4 posts, but I wanted to get on with this project - so you got it all at once. Who knew I had so much to say? I am usually the silent, shy one hiding in the corner.

I started this post with two quotes - normally I only start with one, but the topic of happiness is going to be a series of posts over the next few weeks - maybe months - we will see how it goes - so I thought such a project warranted two quotes. This project started started when I was drafting a single post that was a top ten list of steps that I could take to be happy, but when I hit over two pages I realized I had a lot to say on the subject. (again? - I must be hitting my stride)

I am still working on the individual posts - but I have identified topics for over 25 posts. Some of the items are obvious - some not so much. None of these are my own ideas, but are a composite of all the reading I have been doing. Hopefully you find this topic as positive as I do. What can be more positive than taking steps to be happy? I guess you could call this my New Year's resolution - my Happiness Project or maybe it is my "Don't Worry, Be Happy Project"

Each of the steps are things that I have either tried or want to try. I am planning to start with simple things. I cannot possibly tackle the whole list all at once. I am going to start with the basics and then add on when I am ready.

Here's a quote to go with that thought:

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."

- Marian Wright Edelman

Here is my topic list so far. They are presented in the order that I identified them, not in any specific order or priority. I may not complete the posts in the order presented below and once the post is written the title may change. As well, I may end up adding to the list as I discover more steps to happiness.

1. You are what you eat
2. Get enough sleep
3. Go to Bed Angry
4. Be Satisfied
5. Fake it, Until you Make it
6. Show Gratitude
7. Embrace Failure
8. Resist temptation
9. Give more than you take
10. Dream
11. Celebrate
12. Communicate Effectively
13. Take Action
14. Spend time with Friends and Family
15. Learn
16. Teach
17. Laugh
18. Play
19. Get Moving
20. Happiness is a warm puppy
21. Get out in the Sun
22. Surround yourself with positive people
23. Pamper Yourself
24. Visualize yourself as happy
25. Declutter
26. Smell the roses
27. Sing
28. Get Dressed

May 2009 be your Happy New Year.

Pursue happiness to achieve your
Bright Star Dreams

Some of the resources I have been using to compile this list can be found at:
http://www.happiness-project.com/
http://zenhabits.net/

The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle - a Book Review

"Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It's a gift to the world and every being in it. Don't cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you've got"

- Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

This book is written for anyone who has ever set a goal, thought about pursuing a dream or set a New Year's resolution and then not followed through to the end. I have had a hundred ideas for starting a business or to make my million dollars, but have never followed through with any of them.

In my search for positive influences, I found and added Zen Habits to my blog roll. This blog is written by professional blogger and author Leo Babauta. One of his latest posts was 20 Amazing and Essential Non-Fiction Books to Enrich your Library. This is where I found the reference to Steven Pressfield's book. I purchased the book on Tuesday and finished reading it on Wednesday. It is a very easy read and under 200 pages, but it contains a number of gems that I will try to apply to my own creative projects in the future. I purchased the book as I believe it is one that I will read again and again; however, it can likely be found at your local library.

Steven Pressfield is the best selling author of The Legend of Bagger Vance. Mr. Pressfield spent 17 years as an aspiring writer before earning his first pay cheque in the craft. He has fought the battle to be an artist and won. The book is his way of giving back to those who follow, so that they can learn to face the enemy and win the battle.

The book is divided into 3 parts.

1. Resistance: Defining the Enemy


2. Combating Resistance: Turning Pro


3. Beyond Resistance: Higher Realm

While Mr. Pressfield does not make any specific references to the Art of War, I believe there are parallels that can be drawn in some of the lessons of Sun Tzu.

Part 1 Resistance: Defining the Enemy

"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles"

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

In the first part, Steven Pressfield provides an all encompassing view of the enemy - Resistance - all of the forces that conspire against us from achieving our nirvana. Some gems I am taking from this:

• Resistance is fertile. Meaning that resistance reproduces at an astonishing rate and evolves to meet your resolve head on. I have seen the many forms of the enemy and I have succumbed to them more times than I care to admit.


• The more fear you feel in pursuing your calling, the more sure you can be that you are doing exactly what you should be doing. This is Resistances' way of ensuring you never achieve what you have been placed on this earth to do. The greater the calling, the greater the resistance.


• Resistance grows in strength the nearer we are to achieving our goal. Do not drop your defences or you will be defeated. Like an animal that has been backed into a corner, Resistance is fighting for its life.

Part 2: Combating Resistance: Turning Pro

"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. "

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

In part 2 of the book, Mr. Pressfield outlines the strategies and tactics that you need to employ in order to overcome the enemy. He compares amateurs to professionals and shows how the work ethic of the pro is the key to mastering Resistance. Some gems I am taking from this:

• A professional treats her craft like a full time job. She shows up every day, even when she does not feel like it. She does not wait for inspiration to strike. She goes about her craft knowing that, in doing so, the inspiration appears. With many of my ideas, I have always thought that I would work on them part time, when the mood strikes. I need to stop treating my ideas as a hobby and consider pursing them as my job. I have learned that I need to be more committed to my goal, if I ever want to succeed.


• Resistance never dies, you have to be prepared to meet it with your full resolve. Henry Fonda threw up before every performance and then cleaned up and went on stage. Resistance will always be there, you have to be prepared to do your job in spite of the resistance. Mr. Fonda was following the principles outlined in Susan Jeffers' book "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway", another book I would highly recommend.


• A professional learns to live in misery. By pursuing your dream, you will be miserable. Learn to love the misery or you will never finish what you started. Mr. Pressfield attributes his ability to love the misery to the time he spent in the Marine Corps. I went through basic training with the Canadian military twice. Believe me, I know misery.

Part 3: Beyond Resistance: Higher Realm

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized. "

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I did not get as much out of Part 3 as I did the other two. I think I need to read it again. In part 3, Mr. Pressfield looks at the causes and the effects of Inspiration. Some gems I am taking from this:

• Mr. Pressfield recites the Invocation of the Muse from Homer's Odyssey, before he starts work each day. From this I take that it is important to ask for what we want, before we embark on our creative journey. We need to know where we are going, if we want to complete our journey. I also have an idea for a gift for my Homer - an aspiring writer.


• Mr. Pressfield believes that the source of his inspiration comes from a power outside his consciousness, in a higher realm. I agree that inspiration comes from outside our conscious self, but I am on the fence as to whether my subconscious is in a higher plane. No one really knows how the subconscious works - is it just our brains pulling together information we had in a new unique way or is there Divine intervention? What I am taking from this is that I need to defer to what my subconscious is telling me. It has far greater wisdom than my conscious self, whether it be Divine or a fabric woven from the ideas in my memory banks.

I found this book insightful and well worth the money. This year I have the tools for my ideas to set sail and soar.

Happy New Year! I hope you achieve your

Bright Star Dreams